A Letter to Pornography.

Dear pornography,

I miss you. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you, and remember the times we’ve had together. Life without you is rough. The times people told me I was worthless, you were there. When I was told at school that I would never accomplish anything, you were there. When I spent the night crying about how I would never find love, you were there. You were my ultimate comfort. You told me it would be okay by taking me away and bringing me to a place of what I thought was love.

I don’t think I ever said thank you.

But I don’t think I ever will.

I miss you so much, but I won’t go back to you. Like a drug, you filled my brain, which made me dependent on you. You felt good in the seconds of bliss you gave me, but when that screen went black and you left, the desire stayed. The desire for something real. You said you were love while I remained love-less. I found myself venturing into thoughts too dark to surface.  I knew you were bad for me, but you showed me care while taking away my worth. You left me feeling empty but always advertised to fill me once I clicked watch.

Since you’ve been gone, my life has been a mess cultivated into a masterpiece. I’ve grown up and away from your tempting sites. I found friends who encourage me and show me my worth. I DO have worth. I’m only 21, which means I have some time to learn about life before settling down. One day, I’ll find love. He will pursue me, and I will follow diligently, becoming one with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I thought you were my ultimate comfort, but I found something better. Someone better. A sacrifice from a man who loved me so much that I can now be set free from my bondage of addiction to you.

Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you, and remember the times we’ve had together. But I will choose to create better memories- memories that I can share with friends and family.

Yours truly, Cheylan

 

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